Full Transcription for the video lesson below:
Hi. I’m Farnoosh Brock, and I help you get noticed and get ahead at your job. Today, I want to talk to you about two most common scenarios where you might feel tempted to get engaged in gossip at the workplace, and I will give you tips on how to handle them without seeming antisocial or unfriendly.
So, let’s define gossip first. Gossip may seem like a harmless behavior but it is going to going to damage your career if you continue to engage in it. Gossip is when you talk about someone in such a way that if they were standing right there next to you, you would feel uncomfortable. That’s how you know you’re engaging in gossip. Think about it. Would you like someone to talk about you that way?
Now, let’s talk about common scenarios at the workplace where you might feel tempted to get engaged in gossip.
Scenario #1: Managing a Co-Worker that Loves to Gossip
Let’s say your colleague John comes by to your office and he has something to say. So, he starts to tell you, “Oh! Guess what? July lost her temper at the meeting this morning,” and your first reaction is, “Oh my God! Tell me more. I want to know more.”
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But before you react that way, pause and instead say to John, “You know what? I’m so sorry that happened to her but I don’t feel comfortable talking about her. I know I have lost my temper at meetings in the past and I have learned a lot from it.”
Then, bring the conversation back to focus on John. “So, how are your projects going, John? Let’s catch up.” This way you separate the gossip from the person. You don’t seem unfriendly but you also show very firmly that you are not going to engage in gossip about your co-workers. So, that’s the first scenario.
Scenario #2: Handling Yourself in a Group of Co-workers Gossiping
The second scenario may be a little trickier.
This is when you are among your colleagues, maybe you are standing in the hallway or you are out to lunch, and someone starts a gossip and everyone starts to get engaged. Well, you couldn’t walk away. That would be unsociable. What you really need to do is watch your behavior. Make sure not to show curiosity or enthusiasm or get all excited about this gossip, and preferably, not engage in the conversation.
If someone asks you, “Hey, what do you think about this?”
You could say, “You know what? I just don’t feel comfortable talking about that. “I really don’t have an opinion.” That shows very firmly that you are not interested in engaging in gossip, and being able to do this is going to be so good for your career because your management gets wind of it no matter how hard you try to hide the fact that you are gossiping.
So, if you become the kind of person that does not engage in this, you are setting yourself up for amazing success at the workplace. I hope that was useful to you.
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